


In Dreams

by Captainkrueger



Category: One Piece
Genre: M/M, dream fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:08:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24481780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Captainkrueger/pseuds/Captainkrueger
Summary: "That's the most honest thing you've said this entire time," Zoro said when they fell into step with each other."When have we ever been honest with each other?" Sanji said, twirling the now unlit cigarette in his fingers, glancing at Zoro through the corner of his eye.Zoro grunted. "You had a chance to be," he said, looking at Sanji."That wasn't how we operated," Sanji said."And look at where that's got you," Zoro said.Sanji dreams about Zoro.
Relationships: Roronoa Zoro & Vinsmoke Sanji, Roronoa Zoro/Vinsmoke Sanji
Comments: 34
Kudos: 142





	In Dreams

Sanji woke up in Zoro's arms. Smiling, Sanji whispered into the pre-dawn light, "You awake?"

"Yeah..." came the groggy response from behind his head.

Sanji rolled himself onto his other side to face Zoro, who smiled sleepily at him. He ran his hand along Zoro's green hair, asking him, "Have you been awake long?"

"Mm, not very," Zoro replied. Pleased with the attention Sanji was currently giving him, Zoro closed his eyes and pushed his head into Sanji's hand, inviting him to continue.

Sanji chuckled softly, delighted that his touch could elicit such a soft reaction from Zoro. "Good." He kissed the tip of Zoro's nose, laughing when Zoro scrunched his nose and his eye fluttered open in surprise. "So. Shore leave today. The men have the day off. You have me for the whole day. What do you want to do first?"

"Food would be good," Zoro said, pushing himself up into a seated position.

Sanji watched Zoro, saw how he yawned and stretched his arms, saw the way his back muscles shifted with him as he moved. He reached out and lightly stroked Zoro's bare torso, smiling when his lover looked at him over his shoulder. Sanji gave his limbs a good stretch, releasing a satisfied sigh. He did not resent his normally busy schedule, which had him running as soon as he opened his eyes, but he treasured these mornings of leisure with Zoro where he could slow down and give the swordsman his undivided attention.

"Did you want to go out into town today?" Sanji asked, sitting up and looking at Zoro, who sat in the chair in the corner of the room, pulling on his boots. "I want to go into town, grab some flowers."

"For the dining area?" Zoro asked, who was now standing by the bed. He offered Sanji a hand, pulling him to his feet.

"I was thinking for the private dining room, too," Sanji said, pulling on his coat. "Maybe even our room. Flowers are nice."

"Don't tell me you're going to spend the whole day dragging me to five different flower shops and asking me my opinion about flower arrangements," Zoro groaned as they rounded the corner out in the hallway. "You know I don't know shit about flowers. Or color coordination or whatever you call it."

Sanji laughed as they reached the stairs. "You know why I do it, right?"

"To torture me," Zoro said, with the air of a man who'd resigned himself to his lot in life.

"No, idiot," Sanji said, the affection in his voice taking the bite out of his words. "I like spending time with you."

"Gross," Zoro said, popping his toothbrush into his mouth as he stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror.

Sanji, his mouth full of foam, chuckled and spit out his mouthful of toothpaste, reaching over and ruffling Zoro's hair.

"Okay, so it's food and flowers," Zoro said when they exited the bathroom. "What else do you have planned for the day, Sanji?"

Sanji tilted his head at hearing Zoro using his given name and not one of the many, many nicknames in his repertoire. _Strange._ "I was thinking about wandering around town," he said, staring at Zoro carefully, watching the way the man next to him carried himself around Sanji and how he looked at him. He seemed at ease, like they'd had hundreds of mornings like this one; like being at each other's side was where they were both meant to be. Zoro fit in so well on the _Baratie_ that it was easy to accept him as part of the scenery.

But... But of course Zoro fit in. He'd been here for years. Sanji remembered asking to speak to him in private one quiet night after everyone else had gone to sleep on the _Thousand Sunny._ They'd had a long talk about what they planned on doing once the Straw Hat pirates found the One Piece and went their separate ways. Sanji remembered threading his fingers through Zoro's and asking him to come back with him to the East Blue, to live with him on the _Baratie,_ and he remembered Zoro staring at him like he'd revealed the answers to life's greatest questions.

So why was Sanji starting to question that?

He swallowed. "What do you think?" he asked, slowly realizing that they'd arrived here in the kitchen so much more quickly than they would have on a regular morning.

"I think," Zoro said, walking up to the counter opposite Sanji, "that you're starting to catch on."

"Catch on?" Sanji said.

"Yeah," Zoro said, hoisting himself up onto the counter in the empty kitchen. "Finally figured out something's wrong."

Sanji stared at Zoro, dread rising within him.

"You're starting to figure out that I'm not really here," Zoro continued, reaching behind himself and pulling an apple out of thin air. He bit into the fruit, chewing slowly. Zoro turned the fruit around, studying it. "Mm, this is good. You need to thank Carlotta for giving you the best pick."

"I-I always do," Sanji murmured distractedly, staring at Zoro, at the bite marks in the yellow-pink skin of the apple, at Zoro's hand, his forearm, his bicep, his broad shoulders, his face. It felt so natural, seeing Zoro sitting on the counter, taking up space in Sanji's kitchen on this quiet morning, in his daily routine, in his life. And yet...

"So what gave it away?" Zoro asked. He turned the apple around, taking another bite, making a satisfying crunch as his teeth broke the surface of the apple's skin and tore off a chunk of the tart fruit underneath. Sanji reached his hand up to his neck, fingers running against the skin and finding no warmth, nothing more than the _idea_ of a sensation. Touching his neck in vain, his thoughts turned to the both of them in Sanji's bed, Zoro over him, hands laying claim, teeth on Sanji's neck while Sanji squirmed and panted underneath him, letting out sounds that only Zoro was privileged enough to hear.

"Yo," Zoro said, cutting through the haze. "Earth to Sanji."

"That—that would be what gave it away," Sanji mumbled, sighing and leaning against the prep table across from Zoro. He reached behind him, gripping the edges of the table to steady himself, though he didn't really need to do that, did he? It was harder to lose his balance in dreams, which he was slowly starting to accept as his current reality.

A dream. This was a dream.

"What would?" Zoro said. He took another bite, chewing slowly, infuriatingly nonchalant for someone who'd pulled the rug out from under Sanji.

Sanji sighed, covering his face with his hand and looking away from Zoro. He wouldn't be able to concentrate otherwise. "You—the real you never says my name."

"You're right," Zoro said. Sanji braved a peek at him and found Zoro tossing a now uneaten apple into the air and catching it. "I don't. It's always Cook. Love Cook. Dumbass. Curly. Never your real name."

"No," Sanji agreed.

Zoro shrugged. "Then again, you never called me by my name, either."

"Would you believe that it started out with wanting to annoy you, but then it just became normal to me?" Sanji asked.

Zoro cocked his head at Sanji, smiled at him like he knew something that he didn't, and wasn't planning on telling him. "I knew that, dumbass."

"Did you?"

Zoro shrugged, the arrogance melting off his face and shifting into indifference, two different emotions that Zoro—the real Zoro—had always worn so frustratingly well. "I think that's what you want to believe." He slid off the counter, the apple gone now, and sauntered over to Sanji. He placed his hands on either side of him on the table, locking him in place, standing so close to him that if this wasn't a dream, Sanji would be able to feel Zoro's breath on his face. "Again: I'm not really here. Everything I say is just what you want to hear."

"You're so sure of that," Sanji retorted, his need to fight back, to push, to challenge, returning to him.

"Well, yeah," Zoro said, a lopsided grin on his face that made Sanji want to breach the remaining distance between them and kiss him, kiss that stupid smirk off Zoro's face before it overwhelmed him. "This is all coming from your brain. Innermost desires and all that."

"It's just a dream," Sanji muttered, looking at the ground. It was all too much, having Zoro up close and personal like this, even if this was a dream, knowing that all Zoro had to do was lean forward just enough to force Sanji onto his back, at the mercy of Zoro's whims. But he didn't, instead opting to let the threat hang in the air, which was what made the closeness almost overwhelming. "I once dreamt that Luffy made a piece of lint a part of the crew. He glued some googly eyes onto it and named it Chester and then cried when 'Chester' fell into the water. It doesn't all have to have a deeper meaning."

Zoro chuckled and took a step back, leaving Sanji's personal space and wandering away. Sanji turned his head to follow him. "But I'm here," Zoro said. "You're dreaming about us being in a relationship. It's all so domestic. Explain that."

"So I'm a little bit lonely," Sanji snapped, folding his arms across his chest. _Don't give in._ He told himself. _Don't give him the satisfaction._ "And I'm—I'm craving something familiar. Marimo's familiar."

Zoro came to a stop. He slowly looked at Sanji over his shoulder, expression deadly serious, reminding Sanji of the look Zoro got in his eye when he tied that stupid black bandana on his head. "You are so full of shit," he said, an edge to his voice that would force lesser men to flee.

Sanji scowled at him, chafed by Zoro's accusation. "What are you talking about?"

"You admit you're lonely and you want something familiar," Zoro said, turning stiffly to face Sanji, "and you think it's just coincidence that I'm here?"

Sanji leaned back against the table. "Yeah," he said obstinately. "We were on the same ship. You're—you're familiar."

Zoro chuckled, a harsh sound riddled with contempt, and that had Sanji shrinking. "Unbelievable," Zoro said, starting to pace around the kitchen again. Sanji stiffened, wondering if this was how normal people felt when stalked by jungle cats in the dead of night, straining futilely to hear velvet soft paws padding on the undergrowth.

"What, Marimo?" Sanji said, keeping his gaze trained forward even as Zoro left his line of sight. Velvet paws that could swipe with almost enough force to kill a man. Sharp fangs closing around his throat. Ears flicking to detect each subtle change in movement—

Zoro was suddenly at Sanji's side. Sanji glared at him. "It's just that," Zoro said, looking to the side briefly, licking his lips, which would be enough to make Sanji's toes curl in his shoes were he awake, "you're inside your own head right now and _still_ you can't let yourself be honest."

"I am being honest," Sanji said, doing a very good job of sounding offended.

Zoro suddenly and roughly grabbed at Sanji's chin, and again Sanji experienced the idea of a sensation. Zoro wasn't really there, manhandling him, but he could almost feel it. And since he could almost feel it, Sanji found himself wondering what his mind would pretend to feel should Zoro move his hand just a few inches lower to Sanji's throat. "Answer me this, dumbass," Zoro said, ripping Sanji out of his thoughts. "If you're lonely and looking for something familiar, then why am I here and not Robin or Nami?" Zoro, his lips in a grim line, turned Sanji's chin this way and that, studying him.

"I—"

"Wouldn't that make more sense?" Zoro pressed, keeping his grip on Sanji.

"I—" Sanji stopped, grabbing Zoro by the wrist and yanking his hand away from his face. "I-I don't know."

"I think you do, Sanji," Zoro continued. He looked him up and down, gaze as impenetrable as the ocean at night. "You just refuse to admit it."

Sanji let Zoro's hands go and crossed his arms tight against his chest, saying nothing.

Zoro made a sound that was a hybrid of a scoff and a sigh. He grabbed Sanji by the wrist, pulling him across the kitchen. "Guess we're going to have to do this the hard way," he muttered under his breath.

"Where are you taking me?" Sanji demanded to know, sounding perfectly indignant to be dragged around like this—and if he were in the waking world, Sanji's leg would already be on fire over Zoro subjecting him to this kind of treatment, but no one else was around to see them, and this wasn't the real Zoro. Sanji didn't have to worry about trivial matters such as facing Zoro after things had cooled down, didn't have to worry about telling Zoro that he actually liked it when he took charge like this.

Zoro's only answer was to push past the door, leading Sanji into a room that didn't belong on the _Baratie._ He took them into the small waiting area of a dressing room, letting go of Sanji's wrist and sauntering around the perimeter. Sanji saw himself sitting on a plush couch, legs crossed, sipping on a flute of champagne while he kept his eyes trained on the curtain to a changing room.

Sanji furrowed his brow, looked for Zoro, who was playing with the clock on a wall, pushing the hour hand counterclockwise. Sanji then looked at the curtain his doppelganger was staring at and saw two feet on the other side. Sanji swallowed and immediately looked at Zoro, who sent him a disdainful look. "You know what this is, don't you, Sanji?" Zoro asked.

Saying nothing, Sanji sat down next to his copy. He reached for the tray of champagne glasses on the small table in front of them, taking a flute in his hand and sipping from it. He found no pleasure in the action, no sensation from the glass against his lips, no feeling of the bubbly drink sliding down his throat. It was just something to do.

"Do you need any help?" Sanji's copy asked.

A growl could be heard from behind the curtain. "I know how to put on a suit, Cook," came that guttural voice that Sanji knew so well. Sanji kept his eyes trained on the curtain, saw the feet pacing impatiently. He looked back up at Zoro, who stared at him with an unreadable expression.

"It's not a suit, you plebeian," said the Sanji sitting next to him. "It's a tuxedo."

"Yeah, well, it's dumb," the voice from behind the curtain retorted. "Dressing fancy is dumb. I look dumb."

Sanji pushed himself off the couch, setting the glass in his hand on the table, and he began to pace. Zoro chuckled from his spot next to the clock.

"I'll be the judge of that, Marimo," said the Sanji on the couch. He sighed. "If you're already dressed, come on out."

Sanji came to a stop when he heard the sound of the curtain being slowly pushed open. He stared as he saw Zoro, in a black tuxedo, bow tie undone, step out from the dressing room, a sour look on his face as he glared down at his wrists and pulled down at his sleeve. Sanji looked at the Sanji on the couch. His copy's expression had softened upon seeing his Zoro. He got up and approached his Zoro, running his hands along the fabric of Zoro's tuxedo. "How's it feel?" he asked. "Too tight?"

"Arms feel a little short," Zoro muttered. He looked up into Sanji's eyes and his posture changed immediately, the stiffness in his shoulders melting away instantly. "W-what do you think?" he asked, his voice softer now, uncertain.

Sanji watched these copies of himself and Zoro, watched the way their body language subtly shifted around each other, saying more than their taunts and half-hearted jabs ever could. He looked over at the Zoro who'd brought him here, who gestured impatiently for Sanji to keep watching. Forcing himself to turn his head back to look, Sanji watched the duplicate Sanji and Zoro.

"You still sure about this?" the other Sanji asked softly, running his hands down the front of Zoro's tuxedo.

The other Zoro smirked and started laughing.

"What's so funny?" Sanji asked.

"You," Zoro said, his grin dazzling.

"That so, Marimo?" Sanji said, grinning wryly.

"Yeah. You're being dumb," the other Zoro said.

"I'm being dumb?" the other Sanji asked, taking the ends of the Zoro's untied bow tie and tying with gentle, steady hands.

"Yeah," the other Zoro said. "You think I'd ask you if I wasn't sure?"

Sanji swallowed, sent a look towards the Zoro who'd brought him here. "Why are you showing me this?"

Zoro shrugged, watching their copies. "You tell me."

"You're the one who brought me here!" Sanji shouted, stalking up to Zoro and getting in his space.

"You're the one who came up with all this," Zoro said, sweeping his hand out towards the other two.

"No, I didn't!"

"We're still doing this, huh?" Zoro said skeptically. He shrugged. "Tch. Fine."

Without another word, Zoro laid a hand on his faithful katanas, bumping Sanji's shoulder as he marched out of the dressing room and into the boutique beyond. Sanji cursed and ran after Zoro, running past customers and displays that seemed strategically placed just to hinder him. "Stop!" Sanji shouted. "Zoro! Stop!"

Zoro came to a stop and looked at him, their surroundings melting together as an unseen force pulled Sanji towards him. When everything settled, Sanji found himself and Zoro outside of the shop. They stood on a quiet street located near a cliff that stood over the ocean. "Have anything else to say, Sanji?"

"Why are you doing this?" Sanji asked. "Why are you here?"

"Why do you think, idiot?" Zoro asked. He jabbed his middle finger into Sanji's forehead, shoving his head back. "I'm inside your head."

"That's not—"

"Do us both a favor and stop it with the lies," Zoro said, his remaining eye half-closed with boredom. "Did you know it's almost been three years since you've seen me?"

Sanji took a step back, blinking.

Zoro stared at him, nodding slowly. "Of course you do. Somewhere in the back of that screwed up mind of yours, you realize that that lucky number is coming up."

Sanji stared back. Three swords, three earrings, three sword style, three years...

"Three years," Zoro repeated. "Not one call, not one letter since you last saw me when the rest of us were all together."

"It takes two, dumbass," Sanji retorted. "You could have reached out since then."

"Haven't had the time," Zoro said. He began to walk along the cobblestones, venturing farther into town, giving Sanji no choice but to follow. "Been busy. I'm married, you know."

"WHAT?" Sanji yelled, voice amplified by the dream, causing the surrounding area to tremble.

Zoro looked at Sanji over his shoulder, a wicked grin spreading over his face. He began to laugh: loud, unrestrained, riddled with schadenfreude. "Gotcha," he said, laughing harder as Sanji punched him in the shoulder. "But you fell for it, didn't you? You seem pretty mad for someone who insists he's only dreaming about me because he wants something familiar."

Sanji grit his teeth. "You ass!" he shouted, doing what he should have done much, much earlier, and aiming a kick at Zoro's chin.

Lightning fast, Zoro pulled out his katanas and had them at the ready, blocking Sanji's foot before it could connect. He grinned at him around Wado and continued to do so as Sanji continued his assault. It did not make him feel better, fighting with Zoro like this, when neither of them could grow tired and it became a game to see who could outlast the other. Sanji stopped, glaring at Zoro from underneath his bangs as the katanas in Zoro's hands stopped short of slicing him up. Not that it mattered, anyway. Sanji sighed, placing his hands on his head and turning around slowly, walking away for a few steps while he laced his fingers together. "You're exhausting," he murmured.

"So," Zoro said from behind him. Sanji slowly looked at him over his shoulder, arms falling back down into place. "Still sticking to that story of yours?"

"Why won't you just leave me alone?" Sanji said wearily.

"Because you need me here," Zoro replied.

"Dream you or the real you?" Sanji asked.

"Both," Zoro replied.

"If he hasn't reached out in three years, then maybe he doesn't want to see me," Sanji said. True, it had been a while since their whole crew had been together on the same ship, but Sanji had seen the rest of his former crewmates in the three years since. Every single one except for Zoro. The only reason why Sanji knew that Zoro wasn't dead was because he still occasionally saw his name in the newspaper and he'd never gotten that kind of call from Luffy. Didn't that say enough?

"How could you know that, shit-cook?" Zoro asked. "Is the reason why you haven't reached out because you don't want to see him?"

"Obviously not," Sanji said heatedly.

"Then how's he supposed to know that?" Zoro asked.

"I..." Sanji shoved his hands into his pockets, felt his omnipresent packet of cigarettes waiting for him. "I don't know." He yanked the packet out, tapping a cig out impatiently, though he already knew that it would bring him no satisfaction, no comfort. Still Sanji lifted the cigarette, already lit, to his lips and he felt nothing.

Zoro raised his eyebrow at Sanji, said nothing. Instead he nodded at him and started walking.

Sighing cigarette smoke through his nose, Sanji followed.

"That's the most honest thing you've said this entire time," Zoro said when they fell into step with each other.

"When have we ever been honest with each other?" Sanji said, twirling the now unlit cigarette in his fingers, glancing at Zoro through the corner of his eye.

Zoro grunted. "You had a chance to be," he said, looking at Sanji.

"That wasn't how we operated," Sanji said.

"And look at where that's got you," Zoro said.

Frowning, Sanji placed the cigarette back between his lips. It came back to life as he inhaled. Feeling his eye on him, Zoro looked at Sanji, staring at him expectantly as he awaited Sanji's response. Plucking the cigarette out and holding it between his fingers, Sanji exhaled a cloud of smoke directly into Zoro's face, just to see what Zoro would do. Zoro responded by lunging at Sanji and ramming him into a wall. He held Sanji in place with his forearm against his collarbone. Still Sanji said nothing, staring at Zoro with slitted, unimpressed eyes.

"What the hell is your problem?" Zoro growled.

"You are," Sanji replied. "We haven't spoken in three years and here you are, out of nowhere, disturbing me in my sleep."

"Shit, Cook," Zoro said, keeping his arm against Sanji. "Do you not get that you _want_ me here, or are you just that stubborn?"

"You tell me."

With an animalistic growl, Zoro grabbed Sanji by the shirt and started dragging him, away from the wall, across the street, until they came to a stop at the edge of the cliff. Zoro released his grip, leaving him be for the moment. Sanji continued working on his cigarette and wondered if Zoro aimed to push him. A likely prospect, he thought, given how their time together was turning out. Leave it to Zoro to ruin a pleasant dream and turn it into a power struggle.

"Why can't you just admit that you want me here?" Zoro asked, staring down at the water. "There's a reason why I'm here and not Robin or Nami or one of the millions of women you've fawned over or even some random woman who only exists in your head."

"It's just a dream, Marimo," Sanji said, but only for the sake of arguing and a refusal to yield to Zoro. There was no life in his voice, and it wouldn't fool even someone as practiced in the art of self-deception as Sanji. And Zoro, who didn't buy Sanji's most heated objections, looked at him tiredly. So why did he press on?

"Right. And me trying on a wedding tux was just a dream, but it came from somewhere," Zoro said. He jabbed his finger into Sanji's forehead. "From here. Even an idiot as stubborn as you has to admit that there's a part of you that wants this."

Sanji said nothing. Instead he smoked his cigarette down to the filter, watching it disappear into nothing until it was gone.

Growling again, Zoro grabbed Sanji by the front of his shirt and started walking. As they passed a nearby tree, their surroundings changed again and they were standing on _Thriller Bark,_ back again after so many years. Zoro had opted not to show Sanji their younger selves immediately after Zoro's deal with Kuma, where he offered up his life and dreams in exchange for Luffy's; nor did he show Sanji attempting to take Zoro's place like the damn romantic hero he'd always dreamt himself to be, back in the days when he was little more than bravado and restless legs.

Instead Zoro brought him to the private party the Straw Hat pirates and the Rolling pirates had thrown for themselves in the aftermath of Moria's defeat and Luffy's recovery. Sanji watched as Nami kept vigil by Zoro's side while Chopper kept an eye on him. He scanned the room and found his younger self speaking with Brook. Sanji's gaze hardened as he took in the scene. "Why did you bring me here?"

"You know how I said you had the chance to be honest?" Zoro asked. Sanji glanced at him over his shoulder; Zoro had his arms crossed as he kept his eye on the younger Sanji. He looked bored. "You could have said something when I woke up."

Sanji set his jaw; he slipped his hands into his pockets and heaved a long sigh. "It wasn't the right time."

"No?" Zoro said skeptically. "You try to take my place with Kuma and it's not the right time?"

"You don't understand," Sanji murmured, staring at the small smile on Nami's face as she watched the scene around her. She was so cute, with her party dress and her hair tied in that small ponytail, but she seemed so small seated next to Zoro, having saddled herself with the task of waiting for their crewmate to wake up when she could be partying with the rest of them. "I was just..."

"Just what?"

Sanji swallowed. "I was just starting to figure things out," he said, gaze falling on the younger Zoro's sleeping form.

"About?" Zoro prodded.

Sanji clenched his teeth, forcing himself to look at the Zoro next to him. "Us. You. Me."

Zoro made an unimpressed sound. "You could be a poet, Sanji."

Sanji growled, shoving Zoro. "What do you want from me?" he shouted. "I'm trying to play your game, shitty swordsman!"

"You're not trying hard enough."

"You're impossible!" With that, Sanji threw his hands up helplessly before he stalked out of the room, leaving the party behind for the ruins of _Thriller Bark's_ castle. He didn't need to look behind him to know that Zoro had followed. Sanji came to a stop and kicked at a piece of rubble, glaring at the ground.

"Okay, let me help you," Zoro said charitably. "You were just starting to realize that the things you felt about me were more complicated than you thought."

Sanji yanked out his cigarette packet along with his lighter. He flicked the lighter to life, keeping his eye on the tiny flame as he lit the end of a cigarette and pointedly ignored Zoro as he carried out his ritual. Filter between his lips, head pointed up at the sky and eyes closed, Sanji inhaled.

"And that's scary," Zoro continued.

Sanji opened his eyes as he exhaled and he saw Zoro in his peripheral vision.

"Almost as scary as finding me after you woke up."

Sanji chuckled humorlessly, rubbing his face with his hand as images of red on white stone and a shaking Zoro flashed in his mind's eye. It wasn't any easier to think about, even all these years later. But he said nothing, casting a sidelong glance at Zoro. What did he look like now, after three years apart? This Zoro looked like the Zoro Sanji had seen last, but a lot could happen in three years. Three years of scars and harsh weather and drinking and boredom and rash decisions that Sanji wasn't privy to. Three years of loneliness, too, maybe.

_Don't kid yourself._

Sanji inhaled the smoke slowly into his lungs and held it in. It wasn't the same as actually doing it, but there was that idea of a feeling again, a false sensation that his brain provided based on years of repeating the same actions Sanji had been doing since he was a traumatized child playing at being a man after he and Zeff had stepped off that godforsaken rock.

"Okay, yes," Sanji said. "Yes. You're right. You're right about it all."

"Glad we're finally on the same page," Zoro said. "I do come from you, after all."

Sanji sighed. "What now, then?"

"You reach out."

Sanji snorted, crossing his arms, cigarette still between his fingers. "After three years?"

 _"Yes,_ after three years."

Sanji set his lips in a straight line, glaring at a chunk of wall that lay before him, refusing to even consider how a conversation like that played out.

Three years. Three years. Three years.

"Do you know how _lucky_ you are?" Zoro was suddenly directly next to him, forcing his way into Sanji's bubble. "There are versions of you that don't have the chances that you do now."

"What are you talking about?" Sanji asked wearily. He placed his cigarette between his lips and let it stay while he waited for Zoro's explanation.

Zoro grabbed Sanji by the chin and yanked his face to look at him. "I mean that there are versions of our story where I die before we find the One Piece. Versions where you die, and you die with the regret of never having the chance to tell me how you really feel. There's even a version where you and I die together."

Sanji grabbed Zoro's wrist, but staring into Zoro's deadly serious face, forced to think of the possibilities of what Zoro was saying, Sanji didn't pull Zoro's hand away. Instead he held on, willing this non-contact to be enough.

"Need proof?" Zoro asked, releasing his grip on Sanji and taking a step back. Sanji reached out for him, reached for something to hold onto, but he was rooted to his spot and Zoro kept himself just out of reach.

Zoro didn't change the scenery for what came next; instead he kept them in the ruins of _Thriller Bark's_ castle while images of what could have been played before them on a screen of smoke. Maybe it was to prove a point, keeping Sanji in the location where things had changed for him while showing him the way events could have played out differently. Maybe it was easier. Maybe it was because this was all a manifestation of Sanji's unconscious mind and he'd had too many changes of scenery. It didn't matter. Sanji still winced when he first saw the image of Zoro, lying dead on the ground, with Sanji kneeling in front of him, the two of them surrounded by the rest of the crew.

Sanji looked at Zoro, who stared at him dispassionately, jerking his head at the image in front of them. Sanji crossed his arms tighter against his chest and forced himself to look back at his crewmates' grief. Some clung to the others for support while they wailed silently. Others stood there in shock. Most notable was Sanji and Luffy in this scene. Luffy, his face in shadow, stood behind Zoro and Sanji. Sanji did not weep or try to shake Zoro awake; he just sat there, face bereft of emotion as he stared with hollow eyes at Zoro, lips set in a grim line as it started to sink in that they were both out of chances.

Zoro glanced at him, and with a swipe of his hand the scene changed to Sanji alone, on the ground, bleeding out; Sanji staring unseeingly as he fought for each breath; Sanji's hand pressed futilely into his gut as blood pumped out of him; Sanji, mouthing Zoro's name on his lips; Sanji, not recognizing the sight of his captain running up to him; Luffy soundlessly screaming Sanji's name.

As he watched, Sanji raked his fingers through his hair again, more unsettled at seeing Zoro dead and Luffy finding Sanji bleeding out than he was at seeing his own death. "You're sick," he muttered under his breath. "You're sick for showing me this. I bet it gets you off."

"I'm trying to make you see how good you have it," Zoro said, gesturing for Sanji to look back at the images playing in front of him. "And I'm trying to get you to realize that since I'm a figment of your imagination, this is all coming from you. When are you going to admit that?"

Sanji ignored him, instead paying attention to the third and final scene Zoro had to show him: Sanji and Zoro, battered, bruised, and bloodied, but smiling. They both sat slumped against the wall of a collapsing building. Sanji couldn't hear what the other Zoro was saying to the other Sanji, but it was enough to make the other Sanji smile, to press his palm against Zoro's and thread their fingers together. This had to be the version of their journey through the Grand Line where both of them died, Sanji realized as he watched them. At least they seemed happy, he thought as the building they occupied steadily crumbled around them.

Zoro swiped his hand through the smoke, the image dissipating right before the ceiling collapsed onto the alternate Zoro and Sanji. He turned and looked at Sanji, staring at him expectantly. Sanji shifted his weight, rocking on the balls of his feet as he looked around at the ruins so he didn't have to look Zoro in the eye.

"So," Zoro said.

"What do you want?" Sanji snapped. He forced himself to look at Zoro. He glared at him, but Zoro only continued to stare at him impassively, which irritated Sanji further. "You want me to tell you that I still think about you, after all these years? That I wonder about what could have been? That I'm haunted by the fact that I missed my opportunity with you?"

"You don't know that."

"Don't I?"

Zoro sighed, hooking his thumbs into his pockets. "Except you don't," Zoro said. "You never even told me how you felt."

"Because that could have ruined everything," Sanji said, helplessness edging into his voice. Zoro looked at him blankly, waiting for Sanji to continue. "You and I—we were crewmates. And what if I told you how I felt about you and you didn't feel the same and things were never the same? I—I didn't want to lose what we had."

"Bullshit."

Sanji scowled. "Excuse me?"

"If you didn't want to ruin what we had, then why did you just let things end like that?" Zoro asked. "No calls, no letters."

"B-because..." Sanji clawed around in his mind for some kind of explanation, but it was becoming harder under Zoro's gaze, and Sanji no longer had plausible deniability on his side, so he came up empty handed.

"Because you were scared," Zoro said, finding the words for Sanji. "You were scared that I might actually feel the same way. That someone might want you back."

"Well, obviously _he_ doesn't want it," Sanji said. "It's not just me who didn't reach out, Marimo! Everyone else stops by every once in a while for a visit. Why hasn't he?"

"Has it ever occured to you, dumbass cook, that he's been thinking the same things you have?" Zoro asked.

Sanji hesitated.

Zoro nodded. "Don't tell me you didn't notice the way he looked at you when he thought you weren't looking," he said. "I'm you. What I know, you know."

Sanji set his jaw. "Then why didn't he ever say anything?" _Maybe because you're reading too much into things._

Zoro shrugged. "You're going to have to ask him that."

"You say that like it's that easy," Sanji said, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Because it is, shit-cook," Zoro said. "What's the worst that could happen?"

"He never wants to see me again."

Zoro snorted. "So nothing would change."

Sanji winced. Zoro was right, but it hurt all the same. He sighed and started back for the party, tired of their drab white surroundings and the empty quiet surrounding them. "There's no guarantee he still feels the same way after all this time," he said when Zoro came up next to him. "If he ever did feel that way at all."

"There's not," Zoro agreed. "But then at least you'd know one way or the other."

The party raged on, Brook playing his favorite song, as Sanji came to a stop where the younger version of Zoro lay. It was strange to see him with two eyes again, to see how much smaller he'd looked before he trained under Mihawk. Zoro always looked smaller and younger when he slept, but this was a nineteen years old Zoro, young and full of promise and ambition. Sanji did now what he should have done all those years ago: he knelt down next to him. He looked over at Nami, who was allowing herself to enjoy the party as she chatted with Captain Lola while the combined pirate crews sang, drank, and danced around them as Zoro slept on undisturbed.

"It's a shame you couldn't enjoy this with the rest of us," Sanji murmured to the sleeping Zoro, doing what he'd always wanted to do and reaching out and smoothing down that green head of hair. The other Zoro came into view on the other side of his counterpart, sinking down into a squat and keeping his eye on Sanji. Sanji looked up into Zoro's eye, and as he did the sounds of the party slowly faded away, as did their immediate surroundings, leaving nothing but the two of them and the sleeping Zoro between them. Eventually he too faded away, leaving nothing but Sanji and Zoro and empty white space not unlike the ruins of _Thriller Bark_ castle.

Sanji sat back on his heels, laying his hands on his lap. "You got anything more to show me, Marimo?"

"Not if you're finally cooperating," Zoro said, adjusting himself so he was kneeling like Sanji.

"Mm." When Sanji looked around, he saw that they were back in the village they'd started in, next to the sea on the cliffside. "So I just...call him up? Ask him to come for a visit? Tell him then?"

"It's better than doing it over transponder snail, isn't it?" Zoro said.

Sanji chuckled. "I'd probably hang up before he could get in his answer," he said.

Zoro chuckled. "Idiot. You probably would. 'Hey, dumbass,'" he said, imitating Sanji. "'Can't believe you're still alive. By the way, I love you. Bye!'"

Sanji blinked. "Love?" he repeated, the word heavy and strange on his tongue.

Zoro's good humor vanished in an instant. "Don't tell me you're starting that shit again."

"No," Sanji said, his voice small. "It's just... This is the first time—I—"

"You've never let yourself think that about him," Zoro said.

Sanji sighed, hanging his head. "Yeah," he said simply. Never, not once, in all of these years had Sanji ever allowed himself to put how he felt about Zoro and the word "love" in the same sentence, even though it seemed so obvious now. Even now it felt foreign to him—forbidden, even. It made things real to Sanji. Maybe that was why he'd never allowed himself to put these feelings to words all these years. Names held power. Acknowledging that he loved Zoro gave those feelings power. Distance and time and a string of lovers had made it easier to push what he felt into a small corner in his mind—it allowed him to minimize its significance, to mute it so that it only came up at night when he was alone and free from distractions that running his own staff and restaurant provided—but acknowledging it made it all too real for Sanji.

He looked up at Zoro again. He looked at this recreation of his crewmate, his friend—another word Sanji had pushed into a corner all these years—and he sighed. "Why did you have to come and ruin everything?" he whispered. "I was—I was fine. I'm happy with work. I haven't even thought about you in a while. And you had to come along and ruin everything."

"You know that's not true," Zoro said, getting to his feet. He offered Sanji his hand; Sanji stared at it for a moment before finally accepting, allowing Zoro to help him up. "I told you, Sanji: some part of you wants me here. Some part of you that you keep buried inside of you realized how long it's been, and here I am. You want this. You just need to ask yourself something."

"What's that?" Sanji asked.

Zoro inhaled and exhaled slowly before continuing. "Are you more afraid of rejection or are you more afraid of having your feelings returned?"

Sanji snorted. "That's a stupid question," he said, turning away from Zoro to look at the sea. "Why would I be afraid of him feeling the same way?"

"Lots of reasons," Zoro answered. "You're not used to getting what you want. You don't think you deserve it. You don't trust yourself when you're happy."

"That's not true," Sanji snapped, turning his head and glaring at Zoro. "I'm happy with the restaurant!"

"Can you look at me and honestly tell me a small part of you _doesn't_ feel like something's going to come around and take it all away from you?" Zoro asked.

Sanji hesitated. He couldn't look _that_ beast in the face too intently, else the dreamscape would turn into a rock in the middle of the ocean, or a jail cell. He reached up and felt that mask he hadn't worn in almost twenty years. He ripped it off with a yell, tossing it over the cliff.

Zoro stared at Sanji somberly and he nodded. "That's what I thought," he said. "And people are unpredictable. They can change their minds. They can leave you. It's actually just a fear of rejection on a longer timeline. If he told you no at the beginning, that would probably save you more heartache than if you two started something, and then things ended sometime down the road."

"Okay, so what do you think I should do?" Sanji asked.

Zoro looked at Sanji like he was an idiot. "I'm done holding your hand, dumbass. _You_ tell _me_ what you want to do."

That was an easy question to answer, now that Zoro had shown up and all but dragged him kicking and screaming to it. Looking at the ocean, Sanji thought back to the very start of this dream. He thought about waking up in Zoro's arms, of Zoro having his own place on Sanji's ship. It felt right. He wanted that. And that outweighed whatever fears ate at the corners of his mind of Zoro changing his mind about how he felt about Sanji. Knowing that Sanji's inaction may be the only thing that stood between him and a reality where he got to wake up next to Zoro every morning filled him with a new resolve.

Sanji looked at Zoro. "I want him. I want Zoro."

Zoro's features softened. He came closer to Sanji, grabbing onto Sanji's biceps and looking him deep in his eyes. Sanji stared back at Zoro, anticipation mounting. Zoro leaned in closer, stopping just before their lips met. "Then go get him," he whispered before pushing Sanji over the cliff.

Sanji woke up before he hit the water.

* * *

"Hey, Marimo. It's me. Listen. I know it's been a while, but I'm inviting the crew to the _Baratie_ for a celebration. I was hoping you could come."

**Author's Note:**

> Yo. If you liked this, comments are most appreciated. They help me keep going.
> 
> There is potentially a second chapter to this, but only if people want to see this continued. 
> 
> Anyhow, I have another Zosan fic planned after this. In the meantime, you can check out my other One Piece fics and find me on Tumblr at whereistheonepiece.
> 
> Ciao.


End file.
